Sunday, May 9, 2010

Why I Became a Mom, By Me.

1. The toys are awesome.
2. I wanted someone that would love me un-conditionally
3. I thought i could do WAY better than my mom and I could finally prove to her that she did it all wrong.
4. The cute outfits.
5. I could snack on their cheerios during church.
6. I could stay home and not "work"
7. Tiny shoes!!
8. I knew it was what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.
9. A chance to trick-o-treat again.
10. to be able to create a "Mini-Me"
What I now realize.....
1. I cannot afford the "toys" and the ones I do like, they just break.
2. They do love me. They love that my shirts are a convenient kleneex to their boogers, they love that they can find me in my bed any time of night, they love that I can pull a school poster board project on the Revolutionary War's impact on France together in one night because although they had a month to do this project they only remember the night before.
3. that. nothing makes you realise what a rotten kid you were to your mother until you have a few of your own,.
4. All the "cute outfits" they destroyed while the cheap ones I buy at Value Village for 80 cents last and last.
5. Cheerios don't taste good when they are soggy or crushed in to a powder at the bottom of the diaper bag, or have been scooped off a number of questionable hygiene surfaces and put bag in the baggie to be eaten by child.
6. I don't work, out of the home that is. I work seven days a week. weekends have lost all meaning of "fun" it is now just damage control. I am on call 24 hours a day. there are no sick days (at least not for me. everyone else gets them) and the vacation time is non-existent.
7. They just lose the shoes. first child have several pairs of shoes. he lost only ONE of each pair. needless to say (but you like how i am still gonna say it?) the following boy did not have shoes till he was three and the third boy still does not own a pair of shoes.
8. The dude has a sick and twisted sense of humor. that is all i am gonna say on the subject lest i should get struck down my lightening.
9. It always snows, rains, sleets and is fricking freezing on Halloween night. Do I still go out? Heck ya!! But the buggars don't share their candy. I have to sneak it out of the bag just like i did when i was a kid. Luckily I have lots and lots of practice.
10. Was I out of my gourd thinking the world needed more of me???
That is all.


  1. Love it. yo need to print that out and put it up.

  2. Fabulous post! My stomach hurts from laughing!!