Sunday, May 9, 2010

Why I Became a Mom, By Me.


1. The toys are awesome.
2. I wanted someone that would love me un-conditionally
3. I thought i could do WAY better than my mom and I could finally prove to her that she did it all wrong.
4. The cute outfits.
5. I could snack on their cheerios during church.
6. I could stay home and not "work"
7. Tiny shoes!!
8. I knew it was what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.
9. A chance to trick-o-treat again.
10. to be able to create a "Mini-Me"
What I now realize.....
1. I cannot afford the "toys" and the ones I do like, they just break.
2. They do love me. They love that my shirts are a convenient kleneex to their boogers, they love that they can find me in my bed any time of night, they love that I can pull a school poster board project on the Revolutionary War's impact on France together in one night because although they had a month to do this project they only remember the night before.
3. Ya....um.....about that. nothing makes you realise what a rotten kid you were to your mother until you have a few of your own,.
4. All the "cute outfits" they destroyed while the cheap ones I buy at Value Village for 80 cents last and last.
5. Cheerios don't taste good when they are soggy or crushed in to a powder at the bottom of the diaper bag, or have been scooped off a number of questionable hygiene surfaces and put bag in the baggie to be eaten by child.
6. I don't work, out of the home that is. I work seven days a week. weekends have lost all meaning of "fun" it is now just damage control. I am on call 24 hours a day. there are no sick days (at least not for me. everyone else gets them) and the vacation time is non-existent.
7. They just lose the shoes. first child have several pairs of shoes. he lost only ONE of each pair. needless to say (but you like how i am still gonna say it?) the following boy did not have shoes till he was three and the third boy still does not own a pair of shoes.
8. The dude has a sick and twisted sense of humor. that is all i am gonna say on the subject lest i should get struck down my lightening.
9. It always snows, rains, sleets and is fricking freezing on Halloween night. Do I still go out? Heck ya!! But the buggars don't share their candy. I have to sneak it out of the bag just like i did when i was a kid. Luckily I have lots and lots of practice.
10. Was I out of my gourd thinking the world needed more of me???
That is all.

3 comments:

  1. Love it. yo need to print that out and put it up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fabulous post! My stomach hurts from laughing!!

    ReplyDelete