I hear that you all want more amusing stories from Brown World. Well guess what? There is not any. But I am not allowed to say that. Oh no! I am not allowed to say I am having a hard time as a mom. I am not allowed to say I am overwhelmed. I am not allowed to show any sort of emotion that shows that I am not doing Freaking Fantastic!! Because the moment I show any sort of emotion that does not agree with every one it is thrown back at me in such a hurtful way that I MUST be wrong for feeling so. So I will say what you all want me to feel.
I am so fullfilled as a mother. I have no desire to have any sort of friendship or even leave my home for that matter. I love being home 24/7 with all five of my wonderful, adorable, beautiful children. How could I EVER want for anything more in my life? I am completely blissed out. I am complete. Why should I even bother to try to do anything at all to find happiness for myself? That is just complete selfishness. This is not about me. I have no needs, no wants or desires. I am a perfect mother. I am at that constant beck and call. I have no need for hobbies. Those are for women that cannot find fullfillment in their children. I will be all happy, happy, joy, joy!
So I really hope you enjoy insincerity as much as I do. This is going to be a fantastic blog! hugs and kisses to all.
love
jenn
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Who says you have to be happy and enjoy being a mother every moment? I know I don't. It is hard and there are times I really don't like it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are feeling pressure or something from someone to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect. Life is hard enough without that goal to reach for.
Do you need a girls night out? I know I do and I would love to plan one:)
So whoever is saying hurtful things to you clearly isn't much of a friend. You are allowed to say and write whatever you darnwell want to and if people have a problem with that.... BIG FREAKIN DEAL! I love you just the way you are :)
ReplyDeleteDear Jenn----
ReplyDeleteI think the world of blogging can be tricky territory.....we are supposed to be real and honest and then gracefully allow others to judge us and tell us their thoughts. I go in blogging spurts, but when I blog, it is usually for a laugh and I keep the details of my life and my real feelings at a considerable distance. So, if you read my blog, you don't know what is going on with me.
I love reading your blog. I love your honesty. You are strong and amazing. I can't imagine living your life the past year, and I think you are a rock star.
So many blogs seem to have doting mothers with plenty of money(which just makes life easier, I don't care what anyone says) and they talk about how much they love their kids and their life. I don't feel that is real. They are all probably in debt up to their eyeballs, and are on anti-depressants. It is a facade.
There is my rant. And only 5 more days until school starts.....Hooray!
Oh gosh! I totally love when you open up and call a spade a spade! I do the same thing. I get tired of reading how wonderful people's lives are. I hate it on facebook. I have a particular friend who would lead you to believe motherhood, wifey-hood, etc is so grand based on their posts and blog entries. Reality does NOT confirm this. It's like who do they think they're fooling? We're all not STUPID! lol So vent away. You're a single mother of 5, busy kids! We all know you love your kids, but like any human, even our own kids get on our nerves periodically. So screw anyone else and their freakin opinions! You've got a lot on your plate. If they wanna judge, just ask if they'd like to come over for a few weeks and do your job so you can have the much needed break you deserve!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you have some good friends around to back you up. Dump whoever it is who isn't. Your honesty is everything that we all feel, whether some want to admit it or not. Still praying for you.
ReplyDeleteKatie Reng