Dearest Doug,
I know I am mouthy, obnoxious, lazy, sarcastic, and less than pleasant to deal with twice a week, but really is that any excuse to make me unable to walk? I know you missed me on Tuesday, but there is no need to make me think of you all weekend long as I try to walk up a step, stand up, or sit down (a favorite activity of mine) I am sure to you physical pain is all part of the program but for me, a wimp by nature, pain is something that should be avoided at all costs. Especially if I am the one in pain. I am sure you will read this, feel terribly sad, and be nicer to me on Tuesday. Or this will backfire and end in a horribly, fiery death for my quads.
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