Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Top Secret Governent Experiment

We, being the naive parents that we are, did not realize our five children where part of a top secret government project on brain activity.

you see the moment they do something they know is wrong they immediatly forget it. i know this sounds far fetched, but true. i can witness them eating crackers out of the pantry, but when confronted they will deny, knowing nothing of the crime. fasinating isn't it? here are some case studies from our files.

We walk in the house after a date, there is chocolate syrup all over the walls and floor. We procede to ask, "Who did this?" and shockingly......NONE OF THEM REMEMBER!!

I go to comb my hair in the bathroom. I look into the mirror and realize i cannot see myself through the toothpaste that has been smeared on every square inch. i ask, "Who did this?" and guess what? THEY DO NOT REMEMBER!!

I look behind the sofa to find a empty box of Cheez-its (considered a food group on our house) with cheez-it carcasses scattered about it. A truly sad, sad sight. Someone must be punished for this genocide. But alas NO ONE REMEMBERS.

The toilet, as repeat offender in this house. Is often the victim of many heinous crimes. All to often we have walked in, un-suspecting, to an un-flushed toilet. even more scary than that is knowing their were turds in it at one time. but the dogs have since eaten them. Or worse yet, the mystery puddle infront of the toilet. You don't always see it until it is too late. You go to pull up your pants....and they are wet. Hmmm, you think to yourself, I don't remember peeing my pants. You head out of the bathroom swearing immediate death to the offender. but alas, we are victims of our government because, NO ONE REMEMBERS!

So let this serve as a warning to other parents out there. Keep a close eye on your children at all times. Because the government will get them too.

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