just another sabbath morning

"MOM!!!" screams ria. (the 4yr old) " jakey killed my invisable pony and lit it on FIRE!!"
"Well, says jakey, how else to you kill something that is invisable and doesn't even EXIST!!!"
mom, sigh.........
"FINE!" states ria, " i will just get the bazooka and blow you up!"
"NO WAY!!" is jakes clever response." it would be bloody and girls hate bloody!"
"Ya well, mom doesn't!" as she hands me the gun, "She will blow you up!"

for the record, no one got blown this morning. but sadly the pony could not be brought back.

why i am so thankful......

1. i am thankful for orange juice. and it's sweet tasty goodness.

2. i am thankful for a 13 yr old that can make grilled cheese sandwiches and the other little kids that eat them so i didn't have to make dinner last night.

3. i am thankful for my two huge dogs that make me feel like a rockstar when i come home. even if i was only gone for two minutes.

4. i am thankful for public education. and the patience they show teaching my kids and getting them out of my house!

5. i am thankful for little girls who still believe the wrong pillowcase can give you bad dreams.

6. i am thankful for little boys that play laser tag in the house and use me as home base.

7. i am thankful for spray in wash. and it's amazing ability to get rid of skid marks from said boy's underwear. ( should have bought stock in that)

8. i am thankful for pants with elastic waistbands. i am gonna need them tonight.

9. i am thankful for central heating. unless you have grown up without heat you cannot truly appreciate this miracle.

10. i am thankful for Hulu. without it my kids would never know the wonders of Alf, Aadams Family and Columbo.

Uh...ya, about that......

So another round of parent teacher conf. in the books. pretty standard stuff. Kids are geniuses. Doing well in school. No major fights, yadda,yadda,yadda. then i get to the 13 yr old. i figured i was free and clear. but noooooo. ya see, 13 yr olds are stupid. not just dumb but actually stupid. i can say this because i live with one, everyday. it is scary at times.

anyways, he made a lovely "shiv" in metal shop. but don't worry, all his buddies made one!! that is what is so scary, they are stupid in groups!! he is doing well in his classes. luckily because after the stunt he pulled in Life Skills almost got him killed.

They are learning about STD's and the birth defects it can cause from mother to baby. Such as.....vision problems and lung problems. both of which abound in my house! so daniel concluded, and shared with his class i might add, that i must have chlamidia (sp?) YA, YOU READ THAT RIGHT!! so for the record, yes i had to set it straight, i do not have any, ANY, std's. and i had to educate my son on the cruel mistress that is genetics. so, uh, ya....just another round of PTC for the Brown's.

A proud moment for me

The six yr old ( jakey) narrowly escapes death on a daily basis. most of these threats are caused by Legos. In our house these little toys of pain are more valuable than money. and they are toys of pain as anyone who has ever stepped on one can attest to. but i digress.

"someone" stole all the crystals off of daniel's Mars Mission set. death was threatened along with a beating and possibly flogging. he wanted revenge! he wanted answers. but sadly, no one in our house took the lego crystals. it was another mystery. we have alot of those.

well this morning, after striking a plea deal of no physical punishment, jake confessed. i was so proud of him for holding out for the plea deal. i really, really was. i mean, seriously, what other six yr old would now how to play the legal system?

i was in bed when this whole thing went down. conclusion? i should sleep in more often.

parent teacher conf.

Three words that strike dread in my heart. Why must i meet with the teachers and discuss my kids. i know them. i spend lots and lots of time with them. i really don't want to know what they are doing in school. i would like to be blissfully un-awares. i know they are not saints, that is why i send them to you. to get a break!

i have a long list of PTC horror stories. we got a great start right off the bat with daniel's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Fankhauser, not, Mrs. Spankhauser, as Daniel insisted her name was. First thing to clear up. We were not broke and could afford medical attention for our family, second thing to clear up the Bare Naked Ladies i saw the other night were a band not the actual thing.

Ike we learned it is not okay to post assination sign up sheets for the school bully, and not all pictures should contain blood, and sometimes he should not be left by himself to resolve a problem. you will not always like the outcome.

Now Jake is only in first grade. the school knows us by now. they give us lots of space when we walk down the hallway.

now nest year is anna and maria first year at Hamblem Elementry. i am sure the staff is so excited to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

will post results later.

finding me

well that post stirred up alot of emotions for those that read it.

men generally did not get it. the did not understand what it means to loose yourself in a relationship. i won't go any further here.

women got it. alot of women posted or called with very positive responses. i felt i wrote for the masses. it was so theraputic for me to get it down in words. and yes, i am glad i put it on my blog! when i get this printed and years from now when my children and raising their children i want them to know i was not perfect, and it was not easy for me. so they are just fine. it is normal to doubt. it doesn't mean you are crazy, sick, or need to be fixed. it means you are human! what a wonderful thing to be!

i still love my husband, and i still love my children. i am not going anywhere. they know this and that is all that matters to me.

the break away gave me lots of time to reflect and count my blessings. each mom needs an opportunity to do that.

well, my time is up. the kids want their computer time!

a break!

i was able to enjoy a very nice weekend away from the kids and home thanks to my sweet husband, dan.

regina flew up from Utah, because she needed a break too. I went out to dinner with lanae, then picked up reg from the airport and headed out to the homestead. we ate homemade pizza, regina tried to tackle me various times ( always un-sucessful i might add) and dad took us on a lovely tour of Elk and Priest River. where we checked out estate sales and thrift stores. an adventure indeed!

came home and took a nap in the middle of saturday!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? had a lovely dinner with the family and watched movies with my sis. she even made my favorite, a peanutbutter malt.

i am home feeling ready for the week ahead and so recharged!! i have never had a weekend to myself. i did not know it could be so refreshing! WOWZERS!!

Where did I go?

I was Jennifer Ybarra Reneer for a very long time. We did not always get along with, but we knew eachother well. I knew her hopes and dreams and what she was scared of and even the things she did not tell anyone else. We were close.

Somewhere on this trip I am on that has 15 yrs of marriage and 13 yrs of being a mom I lost Jennifer Ybarra Reneer.

I cannot tell you when it happened. Or what even really caused her to leave. But she is gone and I miss her very much. She was a free spirit, she laughed, and painted and wore crazy clothes. she loved to do crazy stuff with her friends and stay out till 4 am. but i look in the mirror now and i see this woman who has to get the laundry done today or there will be twice as much to do tomorrow, who is wondering if she got all her kids off with the homework they were suppose to take, did their hair get combed? when was the last time the middle one took a shower? Ugh, this mirror is gross i need to clean it....again. should i take Maria in to the drs? what if one of the kids bring lice into the house? i will seriously lose it. can you sell your house if your kid brings lice home? does that qualify me for a stimulus package? should i put my family on hold and go back to school so i can get a job and feel like i am appreciated for what i do, instead of feeling guilty for what i did not get done?

everyonce in a while Jennifer Ybarra Reneer would peek out. I would go out with my friends for a girls night out. Or get out and go running with out the kids. Or more recently, joined Boot Camp.

When the girls started pre-school i took that ninety minutes to do something i cannot do with kids. that is run! i run and run. pushing myself harder and farther. then i started boot camp. it was a whole new level. The harder in worked, the more i pushed, Jennifer Ybarra Reneer started coming back. I did not realise how much I have missed her. But alas, being a wife, mother, housekeeper, chef, mediator and life in general keeps slamming the door on her making me have to choose to put her back away.

Here is the problem. i don't want to put her back away. I am not fulfilled being a wife and mother! being around her has made this very, very clear to me. It is not that I don't love my husband and children. It is just that I need more.

so i am sad, i am mourning the loss of me. who i was, knowing that she will never be back. that brought on extreme depression and resentment towards my husband and children. which, according to the LDS faith, is a huge SIN! i have been taught since youth that this is the be all and end all. i am to be happily married and pop out as many kids as i possibly can, all the while being a domestic goddess for my family. I am not. I have failed.

Utah Census Form courtesy of Diane Dipo

UTAH CENSUS FORM
1._____________________ _____________________
(FIRST) (LAST)
2. Descendant of —
A. Brigham Young _____
B. Heber C. Kimball _____
C. Laman and Lemuel _____
D. Cain _____

3. Tribe of Israel: _____________________

4. Number of occupants residing in home in each category: (List in chronological order)
A. Nursery _____
B. Junior Primary _____
C. Senior Primary _____
D. Young Women's _____
E. Young Men's _____
F. Relief Society _____
G. Elder _____
H. Dearly Departed _____
I. High Priest _____

5. Occupation [Please select all that apply]:
A. Amway dealer _____
B. Shaklee dealer _____
C. Nonie juice dealer _____
D. NuSkin dealer _____
E. Melaleuca dealer _____

6. Automobile:
A. Station Wagon _____
B. Van _____
C. Suburban _____
D. School Bus _____
E. Double Decker _____
F. BMW (Big Mormon Wagon) ________

7. Favorite place to eat the night before Fast Sunday:
A. Chuck-A-Rama _____
B. Hometown Buffet _____
C. Sumo Sam's All You Can Eat Feeding Trough _____

8. Favorite Hero:
A. Nephi _____
B. Abinadi _____
C. Samuel the Lamanite_____
D. Steve Young _____
E. Johnny Lingo _____

9. Which of the following do you bring to church [check all that apply]?
A. Scriptures _____
B. Franklin Planner/ Daytimer _____
C. Pen/Pencil _____
D. Lifesavers/ Cheerios _____
E. Tic Tacs _____
F. Game Boy _____
G. Big Gulp _____
H. Cooler _____
I. Sony Walkman _____
J. TV Watch _____
K. All of the above _____

10. Do you prepare your church lessons —
A. A month in advance _____
B. A week in advance _____
C. While in the bathtub _____
D. While on the toilet _____
E. During sacrament meeting _____
F. During the closing prayer of sacrament meeting
G. During the opening prayer of the class you're teaching _____
H. Just wing it [according to the promptings of the Spirit] _____

11. Do you think pews should be permanently equipped with Big Gulp holders?
A. yes___
B. no ___

12. How many years has your family sat in the same place for sacrament meeting?
A. 10-20 years _____
B. 20-30 years _____
C. 30-40 years _____
D. Over 3 generations ____

13. How much time does it take for you to fall asleep during a high council talk?
A. 1/100,000,000th of a second _____
B. 1/999,999,999th of a second _____
C. 1/999,999,998th of a second _____

14. Which day of the month do you go home/visiting teaching?
A. 31st ______
B. 31st ______
C. 31st ______
D. 31st ______

15. How many church basketball fights were you in last year?
A. 1-10 _____
B. 10-20 _____
C. 20-30 _____
D. You'll have to ask my lawyer _____

16. Which of the following has been your most effective Family Home Evening?
A. Arguing about getting along
B. Having an opening and closing prayer with dinner
C. Gathering around the television to watch, "Everybody Loves Raymond"

17. How many times a year do you make —
A. Green Jell-O salad? _____
B. Funeral potatoes? _____
C. Cabbage and Top Ramen salad? _____
D. Turkey, cashews and grape-stuffed croissants? _____

18. How many water-filled two-liter bottles do you own?
A. 1-2 thousand _____
B. 2-3 thousand _____
C. 3-4 thousand _____
D. Enough to fill the Great Salt Lake _____

19. Which of the following do you feel is the most secure facility in the nation?
A. Alcatraz
B. Fort Knox
C. Ward Libraries

20. How many structural engineers do you hire annually to ensure you'll win the Pinewood Derby? _________

21. Keeping the Word of Wisdom in mind, how much of the following do you consume?
A. Chocolate: ___ pounds daily X 365 days annually = ____
B. Cola: ____ gallons daily X 365 days annually = ____

22. If you had to choose between witnessing the Second Coming or attending a BYU/UofU football game, which would you choose?
A. Second Coming _____
B. Football game _____

AMEN