Monday, September 7, 2009

My Motley Crew

I have been asked to introduce the stars of the show here at Brown's Sanitarium. Ya know, put a fact to the names.
I will start with the oldest. Daniel is 13 going on 9. He may have huge smelly feet and be able to fart on command put as his age increases his maturity level decreases. I do not know when this will level out seeing how his father is 43 and is around the maturity level of a 8 yr old. He is a ridiciously good kid. He made us seem like we knew what we were doing as parents. Luckily Ike came along and showed us we were as cluesless as the next sap. He of course cannot keep is hands or body odor to himself. He can sense peace in the house and therefore must disturb it. I ask he why but he honestly does not know. I will kill him before he is 18 if he keeps this up. But I do have to brag that Daniel is at a post H.S graduate in school. how can a kid that is so book smart be so stupid? find someone that can answer that question for me and i will show you a true genius.

Ike, is 10. His whole goal in life right now is to save up so he can buy a gun. I told him the legal age is 40. Right now he believes me. We (as is everyone, including you) are in trouble when he finds out the real age. He life long goal is to join the military (air force), then work is way up to designing weapons, then to take over Cuba. His brother Daniel is totally in with him on this plan. After they take it over they plan on leaving Jake there as a leader. He is a freakishly smart kid. I know we all think our children are but this one really is. he is at an 11th grade level in school. He loves wrestling. he has been in the program for the last 5 yrs. It is a great outlet for all of his aggression. i would like to say i feel bad for the kids he is up against but really i am just grateful it is not his little brother taking the brunt. If only the program lasted all year round.

This is Jakey. He has stitches in this head from where Ike accidently hit him in the head with a shovel. Yes, this time was truly an accident. Ike thought he killed him and was so happy to see him back home from the ER with a smile on his face. Ike was nice to him for a WHOLE three days. That is a record in this house. Jakey's nickname is Smilin' Jake. he is all smiles when the world is going his way. when it is not you better watch your back!! for those of you who watch the t.v. show Malcom in the Middle....this is our Dewey. He gets into a ton of trouble but he is so cute he is hard to stay mad at. which makes his brother resent him even more. i would like to say that jakey does not bring on the beatings himself but the kid just keeps looking for it. like the time he parted Ike's new lego car and then buried the various pieces in alley. Not a smart move in his part. Or when he sneaks into his brother's beds at night and beats the crap outta them and then hustles back to his bed before the wake up completly and realize what just hit them. Ya, he will be a great leader for Cuba.

Now for Anna and Maria. They are 4. They will be started pre-school next month. I dunno how long they will last. They tend to go through teachers pretty quickly in primary at church. Maria is the one holding the bucket in this picture. she has very short hair because anna cut her hair. not once, but twice. the first time they hid the sissors under their beds. AH HA! we now know to do bedchecks. we have found lots of things since then. An entire jar of grape jelly, an empty container of bologna, Ike's D.S, the picture of Christ they ate, a pile of poop (fresh), and of course MARKERS!! a bit late on that find. but the second hair cut caught by surprise, that is until we found there new hiding spot! the heat registar in their room!!! so we had to screw it to the floor. now they are just back to hiding things under their beds. other than that they are your average girls, having tea parties with their cousin, Jaylee, playing dress up and dolls.


  1. Okay, I officially feel like an idot! I seriously never know how many kids you have! First I thought it was two....then three...then now I got the real have 5 kids! Twins!
    Wow! You are one busy mamma! I'm a horrible listener; so that is why I probably never knew how many kids you have! That's why you drive that big red boat!
    Anyway, cute post and good to learn a little something about your kids :)

  2. Ha ha ha! If I just read your intro to your blog...I would've known!!!

  3. Thanks, Jen, for indulging my mother. I'll let her know about the post. Great descriptions on each of the kids.