Monday, February 14, 2011

Epiphany

First off that I even know how to spell epiphany is an epiphany to me!

Anyways, I had a few tough weeks awhile back trying to meet everyones expectation of me as a grieving widow and newly single mom.

I burned some bridges. Usually that is a bad thing, I know, but it made me reflect what I really want? What are realistic expectations to have?


As it turns out, I don't have to make everyone happy. I am not a bad person if people are mad or disappointed in me.

The ONLY people in this world that matter to me are my five beautiful children. My whole point of existing is make sure they are happy and secure in who they are and my love for them. Everything I do is to make sure they are thriving! May not be how you would handle it, but I don't care anymore. I just don't care. Checked my list of things to do, and caring what you think or feel is not on it. So thppppt! ha ha ha

Wow, I am so much happier as a mom. I am more relaxed, I am trusting myself, and I am laughing again. Not a forced laugh so others would not worry, but a real sincere laugh.

So there will be people that feel neglected because I am not giving them the attention they are used to, or feel hurt because i cannot drop everything and jump to their rescue, but that is not the Jenn I can be anymore. I had to really evaluate my list of important things and it turns out it is a short list. Daniel,Isaac,Jacob,Anna, and Maria.

We are going to be okay. Better than okay. We are going to be fantastic!

5 comments:

  1. Hey you forgot yourself on that list too! You need to take care of yourself a bit as well too lady =)

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  2. Better late than never! And I agree with Christy, add yourself to that list, pronto!

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  3. I've said before and I'll say it again...I love you! You are an amazing woman and I admire you more than you know (not that you need my approval...) You are absolutely right...you and your family will be fantastic. You already are. And your list of things to care about is right on target. They and you are what matters more than anything. I miss you...

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