There was a small situation a while back that involved me, and elderly woman, and 1/2 off maple bars.
Now before you "TSK,TSK,TSK." I want you to know that I mowed her down as gently as possible. I mean as gently as I could with 1/2 off maple bars being offered for a short time in the Safeway at Newport where I grew up. (well, sorta grew up. At this time I obviously had not grown all the way up. I would like to think if I were put in the situation now I would lift and move the kind woman out of my way. Now that I am grown up and all.) This story has gotten completely blown out of proportion because of my older sister, Regina, who was witness to this massacre, er, I mean, misunderstanding. I did not knock the woman down. I think she only stumbled. I say I think because I did not look back. I was a woman on a mission. It was after cross country practice and I was hungry. Really hungry. Is that a good excuse? No, it is not. But I never said anywhere in this story that I had a good excuse.
I bring my shady past up for a reason.....
Last Friday, Sept 3, 2010 at 7:45am, Daniel ran over an old lady and her toy poodle on his bike. He was biking half asleep and he said the sun was in his eyes at the time. The lady was jogging with ,"*Bitsy" when they came to the crest of the hill to see a sleepy fourteen year old lummox on a bike toting a 30lb back back. I don't know why she stayed the course, maybe she was Republican, but it resulted in her and Bitsy getting mowed down. Daniel also fell off his bike in this skirmish. He quickly scrambled back on and took off, never looking back for fear the woman would attack him. We live in a pretty rough neighborhood. The senior citizens rule the streets from 4am to 4pm. It is best to carry mace with you.
And so the tradition continues, not quite Fiddler on the Roof, but you get the idea.
*Bitsy's name has been changed to protect her identity.
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Great post, Jenn. I love reading your stuff.
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